Monochrome Landscape - 30x30 cm, acrylic on canvasboard
My mind is always looking for a sharp equilibrium. Like a camera. I have to understand, I have to know, I have to be prepared to feel safe. And all these actions are hiding the joy and the beauty of the moment.
'I am not content now, because I have to (whatever).
'I will be satisfied WHEN.
'I will accept my own self as an okay thing IF.
And that is the trap. To always be happy in the future.
I practice it for some years to be in the right here, right now. Not easy. I still have some mental concepts of the paradise awaiting me. Sure. But from day to day I experience more healthy moments and minutes, and less and less stress and anxiety.
Like sometimes I can even enjoy the blurry picture in the real life. The times when I do not actually know where I am heading to, just have to trust my path and imagine that whatever will come up I will be ready to make the most, make the best of the actual moments.